Theorist Deborah says that "Your genes don't determine your jeans" meaning that she believes that your gender does not determine the way that you speak.
The techniques that are used within this theory:
For Men:
-Blunt, straight to the point reactions
-Use of modal verbs in the sense of instructing rather than asking
-More likely to use small talk
-More likely to talk about factual subjects
-Less likely to be confrontational (e.g. arguments) - Compromise Vs Conflict
For Women:
-Hedging
-Sentence fillers
-Overlap/interrupt
-More likely to seek sympathy and emotion from the person she is talking to or what she is talking about
-More likely to use gossipy language
-More likely to use
-Back-channel agreement
-More likely to start an argument - Conflict Vs Compromise
Women tend to use sentence fillers such as 'yeah' or 'hmm' whereas men either don't say anything or they will be straight to the point with 'right'. Women will also use hedging to cushion or make whatever they mean seem lighter, such as if they are asked a question- "OMG does my bum look big in this?!', they will say 'no not really, it looks lovely on you!' to consider the feelings of the person asking whereas men are blunt and will say what they mean, 'yeah, I'd change' (clothes).
It is also said that 'women talk too much' meaning that 'men get more air'* (obviously from not being able to get a word in) however I don't know if that was written by a very biased male, perhaps, perhaps not!! It is known that women -I won't say talk too much- but women can create more conversation than men, so maybe that is where that point has come from?!
Orders Vs Proposals - The bluntness between the two genders are also different as a man is more likely to say 'close the door', 'shut the window', whereas women soften the approach, 'let's', 'should we go out for dinner?'. This means that men give orders and use modal verbs whereas women tend to ask it as a question with a preference in mind of what the answer will be.
(Tannen's theory) Women are also more likely to create a relationship with the person she is talking to and build the social skills that she has with them, whereas men communicate to get to the point, making their language just message-orientated based upon the information.
(Tannen's theory) Conflict Vs Compromise - Women tend to attempt to resolve disagreements without any direct confrontation, however the language can be stronger in the sense of power when in a argument. Men tend to confront straight away with something that is bothering them which resolves differences, negotiating status. Tannen stresses that both ways of communicating is to create involvement and strengthening bonds.
This theory can be used in advertisements, novels, transcripts/scripts, movies, TV shows and other types of recorded media. It is best to be used in the form of script/novel or video media purely so it highlights the difference theory between men and women.
Bruce: Honey, I just don’t see the need to make
the bed every day with all those pillows. Do we have to?
Wife: Yes, because it looks better and what if someone comes over?
Wife: Yes, because it looks better and what if someone comes over?
Bruce: Who?
The pool man? These pillows just get in the way and clutter up the room
when we go to bed.
Wife (sigh): Dear, just do it for me, okay?
Wife (sigh): Dear, just do it for me, okay?
Bruce: Okay,
okay. Can we talk about this shopping trip you want me to come with you
on, please?
Wife: What about
it?
Bruce: I
don’t want any new clothes. I’m fine with what I've got for our trip.
Wife: Bruce,
most of your clothes should be thrown out. In fact, if you don’t go
through your closet, I will and get rid of most of your horribly out-of-style
wardrobe.
Bruce: Please
don’t do that. I’ll clean out some of the older stuff. Look, I’m
just comfortable wearing the stuff I wear. And, a lot of that stuff has
sentimental value to me, just like Pete Maravich’s socks did to him.
There seems to be a balanced status between Bruce and (what I'm assuming is) his wife, however the fact that the wife has no name creates a huge significance that she does not have a name of her own and is being referred as his property or his default role in a marriage. Bruce shows no sign of hedging at all and is blunt with his answers, 'I just don't see the need to make the bed every day with all those pillows', stating his opinionated point with a straight-to-the-point mannerism, not thinking about the emotions that it might provoke. He proves the Orders Vs Proposals theory section right as he says to his wife, Both Bruce and his wife both use the Conflict Vs Compromise theory, 'Can we talk about this shopping trip you want me to come with you on, please?', where Bruce is simply asking to talk about the situation to negotiate something that he is not completely satisfied with. His wife then later responds with "if you don’t go through your closet, I will and get rid of most of your horribly out-of-style wardrobe" creating more of a conflict towards Bruce and the subject.
Bibliography:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Difference_theory
* http://www.universalteacher.org.uk/lang/gender.htm
http://www.brucesallan.com/2011/01/13/a-conversation-between-a-man-and-a-woman/
Rachel, a thorough run-through with some good adaptation for your readers. When I was reading through though, I could see that you need to check a couple of details - you have put in your list of differences that women seek conflict and men avoid it (Difference theory says it is the other way around) and when you talk about men using modal verbs and women not, you then quote the woman using one ("should") but the male versions just use imperatives. According to Difference theory, men use the modal verbs that constrain whereas women use modal verbs to talk about possibility (orders for male talk and proposals for female talk).
ReplyDeleteHalla, I remember getting confused as I thought it was the other way round to the theory but when I researched the theory I realised it was the opposite to what I thought which is probably why some of my ideas are confused
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